Where we deal with loss without encumbrance’s and outside noise.

Where we lay ourselves down on a bed of soft, pink, sand and let the ocean of salt water tears wash over us.

Cleansing our souls and purifying our minds.

It is a secret place that can only be found when ones heart is truly feeling and open.

Vulnerability is a requirement, as is humility and gentle compassion for one’s self.

It’s where you go  to make things right.

So that you may, in the future, walk in the land of love once again.

The secrets whispered  through moist, teary, lips will float forever in this land.

And the word “almost” is the sentry…

(an older piece written in August of 2008)

So much is rapidly changing (in my life) and I am literally holding on to the safety bar until the ride slows down.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s all rather grand! But there’s so much to do and be.

I am in the midst of boxing up my current home.

I am not moving until the end of May, but I am starting to relinquish the unnecessary now.

I believe I would rather live in a home filled with neatly stacked boxes, than be left to do everything at the end.

The boxes also remind me that I am leaving behind a place that dislike (both locale and emotionally).

I am moving forward into a life of physical health, spiritual peace and heart happiness.

I started my journey a few months ago, beginning with my physical health.

I no longer eat sugar, processed foods or red meat.  I have inserted organic when possible and won’t put a morsel into my mouth without knowing exactly what’s in it.  Now, lest you think this is an easy feat, it is not!

Quite the contrary.

But it has truly become much easier …

Spiritual happiness begins with meditation.

I find it’s one of the most balancing things I do.

When one is floating in a space between the walls of life one manages to let go of perpetual thoughts, negativity and unsavory feelings.

When you keep all of this bottled inside you’re bound to feel the effects, both physically and mentally.

Whenever I spend time centering myself I am left feeling as if I am in the palm of the universe.  Centered and cushioned from angst, doubt and fear.

As for the heart, surprisingly, it’s much more resilient than we think.

It seems that no matter how bruised it may become, this beating red mass regenerates, bit by bit.

With each breath, this life – love giving muscle mends the fissures and becomes stronger and so much wiser.

With that said, the heart never forgets.  Instead, it simply chooses to remember that which is beautiful. Sealing the beauty within each crack as they heal.

Letting go of the pain is necessary to move forward.

Excitement abounds about the future.

If you want happiness you must rewrite your story.

Start now and let life happen.

Take the path less traveled and let go.

Trust in a power that is higher than you.

Be brave.

Become.

Evolve.

And, enjoy the journey .

It helps to wash away the stagnancy in my soul

and brings my spirit to life.

A much-needed and somewhat cathartic, liquid nectar.

I want to walk without an umbrella and twirl in the damp darkness.

While whispering gentle mantras.

Beautiful

reaffirming

words

of

life

love

and

divinity.

Losing myself in Mother Nature’s saturating brine …

It’s funny how this can happen.

It’s as if a sharp knife found its way into me,  and was, momentarily, working to make its way out.

A deep breath and a mental shake managed to wipe away all traces of emotion.

I find that it’s best this way.

Reserved and without cloying desire.

Life is much simpler when you manage to extract yourself from the mortal coil.

Allow the rational to lead and your hot glue gunned heart won’t hurt.

It’s really quite simple.

Or is it?

I collect bits and pieces.

Memories.

Small shards of moments that I cherished.

A leaf.

Flower petals.

Ticket stubs.

Little notes.

Ribbons.

Cake toppers and so much more.

Every bit, a reminder of a precious moment once lived joyfully.

I suppose you could say that I am a true romantic. 

It seems I have always been this way. 

When I was a child I would tape conversations.  Knowing (somehow) that one day the voices of loved ones on the tape would be ever so important.

An old poetry book filled with tidbits of my life.  Now placed inside an airtight bag for safe keeping.

A mickey mouse cookie missing one ear forever living a cold (yet warm memory) existence within my freezer. 

I believe that every lovely experience has a place within my heart and mind.

So, I hold onto the tangible manifestations of all the love, laughter and life.

These moments have shaped and molded me soulfully into the person I am today.

My past is who I am

and

where I have been.

So, as I move forward into life, I will continue to gather small tokens that I find along the way. 

And, they will eventually mingle with the past, adding a rich patina to a life lived.

There’s something so spiritual about being with another while under a beautiful veil.

You.

Him.

No one else exists.

Breathless moments of intensity.

Words shared while leaning forward, hoping to simply become a part of another’s space.

Wishing that time would stand still.

I want to press my cheek against warm skin and simply be in that moment.

Forever.

But spells become broken and the coldness seeps in to dispel the fragrant warmth …

Are there really any accidents in life?

Or does everything happen for a reason?

I have always believed that life was full of signs. 

And, if you followed them, they would lead you down the yellow brick road of happiness.

But it’s not always easy to decipher their true meaning. 

It’s only after an ending comes, or after we’ve traveled down the wrong fork in the road that we realize what the universe was trying to tell us.

Signs are not always a precursor to unhappiness or heartache.  They can portend beauty and blessings as well. 

Twice in my life I’ve been blessed with signs that let me know life would be full and beautiful. 

The first time was after a very difficult breakup. While walking my puppy on a cold Winter day, I suddenly came to an abrupt halt.  Looking down at my feet I noticed the most beautiful butterfly.  It’s colorful body lay lifeless, yet fully intact on the cold gray cement.  As I stooped to gently scoop it up, I noticed it’s perfection. Soft wings, knowing antennae and a gentle aura.  I realized at that very moment that this beautiful bit of nature was given to me.  A gift from the universe telling me that life would go on.  That no matter what the days ahead brought, I would survive.  Thrive even.  I placed the creature in a box and put it away for safe keeping. 

That was over 8 years ago and I still believe.

The second occurrence happened recently, during an extremely difficult time in my life.  It was a cold and somewhat dreary day.  I had just leashed up the pup for an afternoon walk when I came to a sudden, unexpected halt in the doorway.  I don’t think I’ll ever be able to explain what stopped me.  But I immediately looked down at my front door mat and my eyes drifted to the most beautiful silvery blue and perfectly intact dragon-fly.  With gentle finger tips I lifted the delicate beauty and placed it into  a plastic box.  I realized that this bit of life had come to me to let me know that new and better things would touch my soul in the future. 

Dragonflies are a symbol of new life.  Just as the butterfly symbolizes change and evolution. 

Recently, numerous signs presented themselves to me.  But at the time of their coming I was unable to recognize them. 

But with that said,  I now know their meaning and thank the universe for its unending benevolence.

Take the time to see what is in front of you. 

Open your mind.

Listen to the wind, it will whisper its secrets.

Pay attention to the bluebird as it sits next to you on a bench.

Be heartfully open.

The answers are yours …

Is it the tenor of voice?

The sparkle of our eyes?

The feeling of  ones touch upon another’s skin?

Or soft laughter in the dark?

I suppose there are innumerable reasons why one might be remembered.

But do you ever wonder what you leave behind?

Is it enough?

Does it  even matter?

Or is the fact that you mingled soulfully with another sufficient?

Will we ever know?

I have felt somewhat restless today.

A feeling of intense anticipation is swirling just below the surface, but I know not why.

It’s as if  at any moment I might step around a corner and find just what I have waited for.

I am apt too think that the moon is the culprit. 

Its mysterious beauty shines full and bright this evening.  Begging to be honoured. 

The lunar pull is exotic and somewhat distracting. 

It feels as if an invisible line is tugging at my soul.  Attempting to gently draw it forth from my being.

And why not?

Isn’t the moon the guardian of the tides?

And, aren’t we as humans made up of  water?

I want to let go.

I wish I could lay down on the cool, sweet-smelling grass and simply melt into the earth. 

Bathed in cool white beams of light.

Deep

Intense

Fulfilling

Saturation.

I want to ebb and flow like the sea.

While deciphering universal secrets.

I wonder, if I knelt and lifted my heart to the sky

Would we become one?