I’m…

…tired. 

Life has exhausted me.

I feel like a sponge.  One that is completely saturated and spilling over. 

I learned this evening that my Aunt Victoria is going to go and live with her daughter (my cousin) Linda.   She has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer and is recovering from a mastectomy.  After seeing her oncologist yesterday she has learned that the cancer is in her lymphatic system and they are going to have to treat it with chemotherapy.  Eight months of chemo to be exact. 

She and my grandmother share a home together and have for 18 years or so.  My grandma recently suffered a stroke and nearly passed.  Surprisingly she is holding on and is as feisty as ever.  However, I learned this evening that she will be coming to live with my mom permanently as of next month.  She’s sad and can you blame her?  Everything she has is there in her home.  Suddenly people are making decisions regarding her life and she has no recourse. 

I’m so sad but also incredibly angry.  Angry at the universe, angry at life, angry that we age, angry that nothing stays the same.  

So much has happened over the past month that it boggles my mind and causes my heart to hurt. 

I find that I’m feeling somewhat alone as of late.  It’s odd really because I’m rarely truly lonely.  But so much has occurred privately as well over the past couple of months and I truly haven’t had the opportunity to take care of me, my heart and my soul…

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