So here I sit late at night.
The room is dark except for a preternatural glow emanating from the laptop screen.
It’s quiet, just as I like it.
I find that lately the quiet soothes me.
When I am distressed or simply in need of peace, I seek solitude in darkness and the sound of nothing.
When I was younger I sought noise to keep me company.
The sound of the television in the background or music loudly whirling through speakers.
I allowed this cacophony and chaotic imagery, in the hopes that the word “alone” would not sink in.
But now, alone is no longer lonely.
It is precious.
In this dark solitude I am not a presence, a pretty face or just another girl.
Instead I am effervescent energy.
Free from bodily constraints, the rules of the world and the judgement of others.
I do not reside heavily on the earth, held down by gravity.
Instead I float and flit effortlessly and with great serenity in the ether. Tethered only by a gossamer string that stirs softly in the night.
In the light I smile for others and make up my outward appearance to please ever watching eyes. But when it’s quiet and the still has settled into the air and the last of the light has evaporated, I am free…