Heart Light …

I’ve wondered lately if I cling to tightly to things past.

Can the now live up to the then?

Will I allow myself to love again? Ever? Do I place too much emphasis on what I had? Is it possible to find fulfillment again?

The heart’s a funny thing.  After a while it simply starts to petrify.  So much so that it makes using it difficult and somewhat painful. 

Is there honour in detachment?

Can one really escape pain by compartmentalizing? 

How many times can a heart-break before it’s irreparably damaged?

And, when we’re putting it back together after each heartache, are we missing little shards?  Without these shards is there a chink in the armour?

Isn’t it simpler to enjoy what others have to offer without expectation?

Isn’t expectation desire?

And doesn’t Buddha say that the key to happiness is to not be desirous of outcomes?

I sometimes feel like a paper doll.  Beautiful and mutable yet easily torn. 

It’s essential that paper dolls be handled gently and kept safely.  Not everyone is capable of handling such a doll without tearing it. 

So, here’s the question: How do you know when an individual is (capable)?

Can a hardened heart feel warmth again?

Will it ever ebb and flow as it did when life was new and disappointment was rare?

Where does one start?

Is it worth it?

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2 thoughts on “Heart Light …

  1. I think we are all here for the same purpose. To love and be loved. Love and pain are two sides of the same coin. In other words, to the depth of your pain is the height of your joy. Follow? Everyone, and I mean everyone, knows pain. The irony is that the only way to get through anything is to feel your way through it. You can’t think your way through. Trust me on this. It doesn’t work. Feelings [for me at least] are in some way analogous to a credit card; pay me now or pay me later, but you will pay me. A lot of ppl do anything and everything they can NOT to feel. But, it’s the only way through to the other side of that coin. The past is just that. Past. Staying in the now and allowing yourself to live in each moment. not always easy to do, but important because it’s all one really has; time and life are fleeting. Work towards living each day as if it were your last, because one day you will be right. Sounds dramatic, right? But, it is in essence everyone’s reality. You don’t have to be cognizant of this each moment, but, in times of being introspective, I think it’s important to realize this concept. At least it helps to bring me back into the moment and put things into perspective. Live, love and have fun baby. It’s your life. Show up for it and revel in it! It’s your birthright.

  2. what Big said. plus this:

    baptism of fire, never knew what that meant
    but now the flames are rising higher,
    I guess I haven’t seen anything yet
    because it’s coming down around me
    and I am rising up,
    like a phoenix from the ashes,
    wings across the blue —
    the only way out is through

    forest of fury, kindling of fear
    oh see how dark the woods have grown
    after all these years
    and now they’re coming down around me
    and I am rising up,
    like a lily from the shadow,
    glistening and perfumed —
    the only way out is through

    all the detours taken never lead you home,
    what a maze you find yourself in and still alone
    oh you thought it should be easy
    so the truth eluded you —
    the only way out is through

    baptism of fire, all happening within
    illusions burn like tall grass
    in a wild and reckless wind
    and now they’re coming down around me
    and I am rising up,
    like a great bell resurrected,
    ringing loud and true —
    the only way out is through

    all the detours taken never lead you home,
    what a maze you find yourself in and still alone
    oh you thought it should be easy
    so the truth eluded you —
    the only way out is through

    the only way out is through

    the only way out is through

    the only way out is through

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