Sleepless and Discontent …

I am exhausted but I can’t sleep. 

With each passing moment I become more frustrated with my inability to rest.  The tossing and turning is only interrupted by exasperated mutterings of  “no”.  The word slips out as if  by its own volition.  A side effect of the restless discontent my mind, soul and body is now feeling. 

I haven’t written in some time and there’s an underlying current of displeasure that this is the subject I would choose to share after so long.  As if it would be more appropriate for me to pen a verse or spew forth a story of sunshine and flowers.  

I wonder, how many others are awake at this moment, wondering the same things?

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Quiet …

Softly exhaled breath

silent

as it touches cool air

tranquil

delicious

quiet

permeates

each

cell

Thoughts flit off into the ether

untethered

free

colliding

with ethereal

matter

to form

moments and memories

here and now

then and before…

Quandary …

I’m tired. But I’m also extraordinarily and uncomfortably restless.  The two are not coexisting well together this evening.

I feel as if I should simply lay my head upon a pillow, close my eyes and let sleep take me. 

However the restless part feels as if I may lose out on something if I do. 

But that’s ridiculous, right?

It’s a quandary I faced as a child.  I would desperately tell myself that I was going to stay awake to watch Saturday Night Live.  But when push came to shove my eyes were much to heavy to stay alert and I would awaken on the floor, in front of the television, long after the show had closed. 

That’s a bit how I am feeling this evening. 

The night is quiet, cool and uneventful.  Yet  I can’t let go of it. 

Maybe if I listen to the crickets for a few more hours I’ll finally have unraveled the mystery of their language.  And, the answers to all of my question will be at my fingertips.  Yes?

Alas, I feel that familiar heaviness in my eyelids. 

I guess all of my answers will have to wait another day.

Roller Coaster or Merry Go Round?

What do you prefer to ride in life?
 
 If it’s the rollercoaster there are highs, lows, thrills and chills and sometimes spills but at least it’s something. 
 
Merry Go Rounds are pretty and quite whimsical but they are also steady, never-changing and ever so safe. 
 
Now and then I wonder if safe is the way to go.  I have had my share of sadness, hurt and disappointment.  Truth be told the thought of experiencing those things again makes me physically cringe. 
 
But I wonder what is the “cost” of being safe? 
 
Is the price too high?