Christmas Eve …

I’ve always been nostalgic about Christmas. 

There’s something about it that brings me to a stage of soulfulness that other holidays can not.

When I was a little girl Christmas Eve was magical.

The warmth of a fire, Christmas music emanating from the console, a new pair of pajamas (that usually matched my sisters) and Santa Clause. 

As I’ve grown older it has held its magic.

And, the only difference this year,  is that for the first time in my life I am spending it alone. 

Maybe it’s time to start making new traditions. 

Old ones are beautiful, but there’s always a bit of room to add new too, right?

I’ve been looking for something.  Something that will not be found in a box with a bow on top.

What I want is for the heart.

Fulfillment.

True love.

Longevity.

Intimacy.

Sweetness.

Not only do I long  for my heart to be enveloped in the above mentioned, but my mind, body and soul as well. 

I am missing these things today.

But it’s Christmas Eve and I have faith that one day, when I least expect it, I will receive the gift I’ve always wanted the most.

I continue to believe …

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