Upon wishing me “Happy New Year” this morning, my mother proceeded to ask if I had any resolutions. My answer was “no”. However, I’ve come to believe this is not the case. I do have one very important resolution – to thrive.
The dictionary defines thrive in this way:
[thrahyv] Show IPA
verb (used without object), thrived or throve, thrived or, thriv·ing.
to prosper; be fortunate or successful.
to grow or develop vigorously; flourish: The children thrived in the country.
1150–1200; Middle English thriven < Old Norse thrīfast to thrive, reflexive of thrīfa to grasp
It feels as if I have simply been existing. And, I want more.
I long for vibrancy, electricity, passion and grand moments of exultation.
I want to know that every breath I take, from this moment on, means something.
Sadly, I’ve come to realize that life is much too short.
Within the blink of an eye, we’re suddenly older, or sicker or simply too tired to care.
I don’t want to wake up some day and realize that this magical ride known as life has simply been siphoned away.
I no longer want to let fear hold me back. Instead, I want to use the fear to vault into the unknown. Fear means you’re doing something right, right? It means you’re stepping out of the comfort of the known and plotting a course into a realm of possibility. And yes, there’s always a bit of failure along the way, but it’s no longer okay to let setbacks rule my existence, or the journey I will make for myself.
So, I am resolute. I want to live, thoroughly, compassionately, passionately and fully.
This is my 2014 life resolution.
My new beginning.
And yes, I suddenly have the urge to say “Live long and prosper”. I never said I wasn’t a Geek.
Null and void.
No longer does she wait.
It was but a dream state, that felt like immersion in liquid amber.
Hot, sweet, and tangy, with a dash of salt.
Richly hued and imbued with tones of cotton candy, Crème Brûlée and swirling Sangria.
Now, simply a bowl filled with the remnants of water colours mixed together. Gently graying as each moment ticks by.
When the hues are gone, there will be nothing left.
And parted lips, that so longed to be next, will silently close.
Ending a very long chapter of the heart.
something I don’t know
make it delicious.
Tantalize with your words
spin a web of sin
so that I may catch myself in the silken threads.
Hold me close
that mean everything.
Talk to me of the stars and their incandescence
whilst waltzing through a dream.
I want to know what it’s like to be entranced, entrenched and enchanted.
I want to go where the wild things are
breathe air that’s saturated with sweetness
lay in velvety soft, overgrown grass, whilst holding another’s hand
and kiss passionately in a meadow filled with flowers.
It’s quiet now.
My mind, which races through the days
slows like molasses.
Darkness permeates the room
allowing me to float effortlessly
No restraint, untethered and free.
sparkling bits of universal dust
drift about like fairy magic.
My heart says “make a wish”
Then suddenly, the word appears.
The letters are crisp and clean but with a softness about the edges.
Re-entry into the body is gentle.
There is –
Sometimes the enormity of life, its lessons, sad moments, desires, wishes and realities just hits you. Somewhat like a pie in the face. And, when that happens there are many emotional responses.
Sadness. Finality. Rationalization. Grief. Existentialism. Hope.
It’s important to validate every salt filled liquid feeling that has drenched your soul.
You have earned the intensity.
But remember when the internalized storm has passed that the hope prevails.
Cling to it as if it were a life raft.
Don’t let go, for the harder you hold on the more it embeds itself into your being.
So tonight, although feeling somewhat lost in the swells, I see the hope manifesting itself as beautiful clouds floating above me. Preparing to release bits of fluffy joy laden rain onto my lips and eyelids.
I remain ever grateful.
for my life. love of family. sweet puppy cuddles. friends and a bountiful future.
Hallelujah she exclaimed!
I sometimes wonder about the why’s of life.
Why do we let ourselves fall into an emotional life with some and not with others.
Why do relationships end?
Does it do any good to even try to figure such things out?
When love is forsaken how do you go on?
Does time heal all wounds, or do we heal them ourselves with time?
Where does the love go once it’s no longer shared?
Does it float gently into the ether and linger softly around us as spiritual dew?
Or does it permeate others who are in the new and lovely phase of knowing.
Pollinating souls …
What of the residue that lingers? Why does it do so?
And, how do we protect ourselves from repeating the pain again?
I am thoughtful, and it’s at times like this that I truly wish I knew the ‘why’ of it all.
If only the universe would share its secrets.
If only my heart could rise above …
Until all I feel is the wispy tendrils of clouds, as they curl lightly about me.