Lofty Goals and Life Bits …

I have made the decision that creativity is a must. Therefore, I will be posting one bit every day starting today. My goal is to have at least 371 posts by December 26, 2014.  I seem to have fallen into the trap that is life.  And in doing so, have completely forgotten the love that I feel for the written word. This saddens me. It’s the times when we feel that we have nothing to share or say that can become the most rewarding to write. It’s not just about digging deeply into the psyche, although that is certainly cathartic at times. It can also simply be about exploring the mundane and finding the beauty, hilarity and depth of the every day. So, on this the day after Christmas I make a promise to myself to share bits and pieces of life on a daily basis. I’m looking forward to the journey. Here’s hoping you’ll all ride along with me!

Cheers!

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Connections (Written in 2007, yet it seems somewhat fitting to share it once again at this moment in my life)

To me a connection is soulful. 

It is the moment that two souls realize they share a bond, whether it is from the past or present.

I believe that small connections are made on a daily basis, and that these small moments shape our minutes, hours, days and lives.  Yet we just don’t realize it at the time. 

Our  days are filled with noise, commotion, deadlines, stress and other mundane issues that insist on our attention.  So who has the time to truly see the infinitesimal moments that help to create the energy of who we are.

Then there are the larger connections,  the ones that we immediately realize will profoundly affect us in some way. 

The electrical currents that run from one individual to another for reasons that we are unaware of. 

When we unconsciously decide to share our self with another because we feel that magnetic pull. 

Walls are slowly lowered, lives are spoken of, secrets revealed and emotions shared. 

There are mental, spiritual, sexual and metaphysical connections that can be made with others.  But what happens when all of these different aspects are present? What does it mean? 

I once loved a man so deeply that I truly knew his thoughts or at least felt them.  I was aware of his needs without him ever verbalizing them.  I knew his presence from afar, even if my back were turned towards him (I could feel him and it (his energy) would cause me to momentarily stop breathing) I simply knew..

When he touched me, the entire world fell away and all I knew was a floating, warm sensation that enveloped me.  I would melt ~

His voice, his breath, his scent, his touch; it’s all I knew. 

And I was happy to know only these things, for somewhere inside I knew the beauty that we possessed ~ deep soul moving connection.

I realized recently that this is what I search for  ~ a deep soul stirring fit. 

Tonight at dinner with a friend we discussed this kind of spiritual relationship and I wondered aloud if it’s possible to find it again.  Or are we destined to love only one individual this way in our lifetime? Are our souls meant to wander this life hoping to collide with a known energy? Should we settle for something that is less than soul stirring to feed other desires? Or are we better off simply living our lives on our own?

I long to feel alive again and breathe in the essence of another and know that easy just being feeling again.

I do not share, yield or love easily…

I have walls; Walls that have been built not to keep people out but to see who will have the courage to climb them so that they may get “inside”..

But will anyone have the courage, willingness and desire to do so?  Will they crave the soft, sweet, swirling core of me enough to try?

I am patient.

Live my life with no expectations.

And surround myself with gentle silent faith ~

Notary.

Null and void.

No longer does she wait.

It was but a dream state, that felt like immersion in liquid amber.

Hot, sweet, and tangy, with a dash of salt.

Richly hued and imbued with tones of cotton candy, Crème Brûlée and swirling Sangria.

Now, simply a bowl filled with the remnants of water colours mixed together. Gently graying as each moment ticks by.

When the hues are gone, there will be nothing left.

And parted lips, that so longed to be next, will silently close.

Ending a very long chapter of the heart.

Tell me …

something I don’t know

make it delicious.

Tantalize with your words

and

spin a web of sin

so that I may catch myself in the silken threads.

Hold me close

whisper

sweet nothings

that mean everything.

Talk to me of the stars and their incandescence

whilst waltzing through a dream.

I want to know what it’s like to be entranced, entrenched and enchanted.

Please …

Okay.

I miss you.

Your words so crisp

intimate tones

the prospect of fingertip caressing moments.

When I think of you butterflies still erupt forth

fluttering their wings from the inside out.

Time.

It just takes time.

And timing is everything,

isn’t it?

The hour of our discontent …

I’m awake.

I hate the earliness of my awakened state.

It’s the in between.

It’s not late, nor is it early.

Instead, it just ‘is’ …

I think too much when it’s dark and quiet,  and my longings run wild.

Sleep, I want to sleep.

Sleep brings restoration, peace and a quiet mind.

I want to leave this world of darkness and preternatural stillness to its own devices.

Not to be roused again until the sun shines high above, coating the world with rays of light, that catch the dew on sweet green grass. Bringing forth bits of rainbow colour.

Enfold me once again night, and let me be.