In the end.

What are you thinking she asks?

There is no answer. Only the silence that she has now come to know.

What happened to all the words?

It seems they were ripped violently from this plane

only to be absorbed by black matter that will never let them go.

Where is the laughter? Why has it died away? Were there no watering holes to fuel it’s liquid needs?

What of the tears?

They have dried and formed small hills of salt on the plains of her existence.

Where is the proof of lovely times past?

It has disappeared like invisible ink.  Only to be seen again when acidic juice falls upon the pages. Revealing what was but is no longer.

What of the heart?

It wills upon itself scar tissue, in the hope of covering open wounds.

But it wasn’t all bad. Right?

 

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It is the fear that moves me …

I am on the brink of change, a personal evolution of sorts.

The unknown calls to me, like a siren from the sea.

It beckons, and stirs life into my stagnated being.

Fear surrounds me, but, it is this very fear that motivates me.

There are times in our lives when we must jump into the uncharted darkness, blindfolded, and without hesitation.

In doing so, I believe it’s possible to truly find one’s raison d’être!

For to long I have felt as if existence was everything.  The day-to-day rituals that I once loved, now feel suffocating,  as if I’m being smothered by the banal.

Change is a funny thing, it can brew for years within your being without outlet.  And then one day, without warning, the churning, heated, fluid of life, fills you to the brim.  Your only recourse is to let it spew forth.  If you don’t you’ll drown, slow and agonizingly, from the inside out .

I no longer subscribe to ‘can not’.  Instead, I choose to embrace the positive forces of the universe.

A life not lived fully is a life squandered.

There will be no more waiting for the world to come to me.  Instead, I am reaching forward to grasp the unknown.

 

Pieces …

I collect bits and pieces.

Memories.

Small shards of moments that I cherished.

A leaf.

Flower petals.

Ticket stubs.

Little notes.

Ribbons.

Cake toppers and so much more.

Every bit, a reminder of a precious moment once lived joyfully.

I suppose you could say that I am a true romantic. 

It seems I have always been this way. 

When I was a child I would tape conversations.  Knowing (somehow) that one day the voices of loved ones on the tape would be ever so important.

An old poetry book filled with tidbits of my life.  Now placed inside an airtight bag for safe keeping.

A mickey mouse cookie missing one ear forever living a cold (yet warm memory) existence within my freezer. 

I believe that every lovely experience has a place within my heart and mind.

So, I hold onto the tangible manifestations of all the love, laughter and life.

These moments have shaped and molded me soulfully into the person I am today.

My past is who I am

and

where I have been.

So, as I move forward into life, I will continue to gather small tokens that I find along the way. 

And, they will eventually mingle with the past, adding a rich patina to a life lived.