Buckle up and keep your hands inside the ride …

Sometimes, now and again I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror

and

I wonder,

who is that girl?

Drastic change comes with (or so I’ve been told) image crisis. I wouldn’t say I am exactly in ‘crisis’, but I would absolutely admit that there are times I’m not exactly sure who I am any longer.

So, every time I become a bit confused, I’ll simply reintroduce myself to me.

It will go something like this:

“Hello, you’re new around these parts aren’t you?” “Why yes, yes I am. It’s lovely to meet you, I’m Candice (and sometimes I even let others call me Candy. Although that’s rare).” Then I will smile and move along with my day. I sometimes feel it’s akin to ‘Fifty First Dates’, where the girl is introduced to her life and self, every morning. The only difference, there’s no brain damage affecting me, instead physical change and emotional growth.

I’ve decided the most important piece of this puzzle is the enjoyment factor.

So, I’ve entered the ride and fastened my seat belt. It’s time to hold on and squeal with glee (literally and figuratively).

Change. Health. Happiness. Fulfillment.

An E – ticket attraction if ever there was one.

It is the fear that moves me …

I am on the brink of change, a personal evolution of sorts.

The unknown calls to me, like a siren from the sea.

It beckons, and stirs life into my stagnated being.

Fear surrounds me, but, it is this very fear that motivates me.

There are times in our lives when we must jump into the uncharted darkness, blindfolded, and without hesitation.

In doing so, I believe it’s possible to truly find one’s raison d’être!

For to long I have felt as if existence was everything.  The day-to-day rituals that I once loved, now feel suffocating,  as if I’m being smothered by the banal.

Change is a funny thing, it can brew for years within your being without outlet.  And then one day, without warning, the churning, heated, fluid of life, fills you to the brim.  Your only recourse is to let it spew forth.  If you don’t you’ll drown, slow and agonizingly, from the inside out .

I no longer subscribe to ‘can not’.  Instead, I choose to embrace the positive forces of the universe.

A life not lived fully is a life squandered.

There will be no more waiting for the world to come to me.  Instead, I am reaching forward to grasp the unknown.

 

The Pull …

 

 

I’m filled with restless energy today. 

It feels as if I’ve been infused with a sort of alien life force.   Something so unknown and strange. 

It’s as if my mind and body have been saturated with caffeine.  So much so that I swear the smell of coffee beans should seep from my pores.

Have you ever felt as if your soul were desperately trying to tell you something?  That if you’re very still you’ll hear it?

I feel there is an answer hanging in the air and all I have to do is walk through it.  As one would walk through a mist of perfume.

What is the answer?  For it’s not clear. 

 But the feeling is there and it’s time to listen.

Change.

New.

Growth.

Lessons.

Paths.

Soulful pull.

I won’t step around it this time. 

Instead, I intend to fully immerse myself in it.