What are you thinking she asks?
There is no answer. Only the silence that she has now come to know.
What happened to all the words?
It seems they were ripped violently from this plane
only to be absorbed by black matter that will never let them go.
Where is the laughter? Why has it died away? Were there no watering holes to fuel it’s liquid needs?
What of the tears?
They have dried and formed small hills of salt on the plains of her existence.
Where is the proof of lovely times past?
It has disappeared like invisible ink. Only to be seen again when acidic juice falls upon the pages. Revealing what was but is no longer.
What of the heart?
It wills upon itself scar tissue, in the hope of covering open wounds.
But it wasn’t all bad. Right?
Moving is such tedious work. However, now and again you’ll find something worth looking at whilst packing.
This afternoon I found old pictures of my family.
It’s odd to think that at one time we all lived under one roof and called this place home. We were a unit – a whole.
How strange to think that at one time my parents were married and that I shared a bathroom with an older sister. It was a simpler time in some ways. I knew what to expect on a daily basis. I knew that when I woke every morning that I would do so to a house that was bustling with life, routine, laughter, wonderful pets and of course love.
When did everything change? How have the years passed so rapidly? When did i become an adult with adult responsibilities?
Time is strange, it usually feels as if it’s passing much too quickly. Yet it’s always the same.
There are moments, when I desperately long to recapture my youth. I want to sit quietly on a Saturday morning eating Apple Jacks while watching The Banana Splits on a great behemoth of a television. I long for the sweetness of our family dog and cats. I desire the simplicity that was childhood, even though at the time, it seemed anything but simplistic.
But don’t we all now and again?
So, I allow myself a bit of dwelling, and then I pull myself out of the reverie, with the thought that yes, sometimes being an adult is difficult. Then I walk to the kitchen, find a bit of cookie dough and eat it for dinner (something I would never have been allowed to do as a child). And once again all is right with the world.
Thank you for the lovely times.
Moments of breathless intimacy
All of the hours spent speaking, laughing and sharing moved me.
Bits of humour known only to the two of us will linger within my cells.
Our souls collided for a reason. Whether we understand why or not.
Warm heaven –
soft and delicious.
Imprints stored within the heart
now unframed yet still matted
surrounded by beating warmth.
But not forgotten.