What are you thinking she asks?
There is no answer. Only the silence that she has now come to know.
What happened to all the words?
It seems they were ripped violently from this plane
only to be absorbed by black matter that will never let them go.
Where is the laughter? Why has it died away? Were there no watering holes to fuel it’s liquid needs?
What of the tears?
They have dried and formed small hills of salt on the plains of her existence.
Where is the proof of lovely times past?
It has disappeared like invisible ink. Only to be seen again when acidic juice falls upon the pages. Revealing what was but is no longer.
What of the heart?
It wills upon itself scar tissue, in the hope of covering open wounds.
But it wasn’t all bad. Right?
Null and void.
No longer does she wait.
It was but a dream state, that felt like immersion in liquid amber.
Hot, sweet, and tangy, with a dash of salt.
Richly hued and imbued with tones of cotton candy, Crème Brûlée and swirling Sangria.
Now, simply a bowl filled with the remnants of water colours mixed together. Gently graying as each moment ticks by.
When the hues are gone, there will be nothing left.
And parted lips, that so longed to be next, will silently close.
Ending a very long chapter of the heart.
Sometimes the enormity of life, its lessons, sad moments, desires, wishes and realities just hits you. Somewhat like a pie in the face. And, when that happens there are many emotional responses.
Sadness. Finality. Rationalization. Grief. Existentialism. Hope.
It’s important to validate every salt filled liquid feeling that has drenched your soul.
You have earned the intensity.
But remember when the internalized storm has passed that the hope prevails.
Cling to it as if it were a life raft.
Don’t let go, for the harder you hold on the more it embeds itself into your being.
So tonight, although feeling somewhat lost in the swells, I see the hope manifesting itself as beautiful clouds floating above me. Preparing to release bits of fluffy joy laden rain onto my lips and eyelids.
I remain ever grateful.
for my life. love of family. sweet puppy cuddles. friends and a bountiful future.
Hallelujah she exclaimed!
I awoke this morning with ravenous need for –
sunshine, warm, saturating and all-encompassing.
sweetness, soft, genuine and endearing.
large expanses of wild flowers (to twirl within)
urgent kisses – to lose myself in.
Strong fingers entwined with my own.
laughter. deep and momentous.
a gentle hand on the small of my back. claiming – guiding – holding.
ripe strawberries – their juices drenching sensitive taste buds.
the smell of warm earth – ancient and alive.
a lover and a prince (strong and knightly)
passion – liquid and electric.
salty frothed oceanic waves wrapping themselves around my toes
a heartfelt connection (do these even exist anymore?)
a fairy god mother
patience – (O please grant me patience.)
The knowing …
a crystal ball (I might even settle for an eight ball instead)
and, of course,
The hunger continues –
The rain is my confidant.
It helps to wash away the stagnancy in my soul
and brings my spirit to life.
A much-needed and somewhat cathartic, liquid nectar.
I want to walk without an umbrella and twirl in the damp darkness.
While whispering gentle mantras.
Losing myself in Mother Nature’s saturating brine …
I awoke early this morning to the sound of rain.
So soothing and tender.
Almost like a lovers whisper in my ear.
It gently roused my slumbering cells and imparted an immediate feeling of peace.
I love the rain.
I long to raise my face skyward and let the wetness fall upon my lips.
Liquid is life.
We’re cradled within it before our birth and choose to relax in its warmth when we are weary.
When we are sad we shed tears. Salty liquid essence that flows from our being just as the raindrops fall from the heavens.
It purifies our bodies and quenches thirst.
Without it flowers would never bloom.
And, what would this world be without such vibrant, sweet-smelling beauty?
So, today, I am most grateful for the rain and all of the lush intensity that it brings.