Resolute.

Upon wishing me “Happy New Year” this morning, my mother proceeded to ask if I had any resolutions. My answer was “no”.  However, I’ve come to believe this is not the case. I do have one very important resolution – to thrive.

The dictionary defines thrive in this way:

Thrive

[thrahyv] Show IPA

verb (used without object), thrived or throve, thrived or, thriv·ing.

1.

to prosper; be fortunate or successful.
2.

to grow or develop vigorously; flourish: The children thrived in the country.
Origin:
1150–1200; Middle English thriven  < Old Norse thrīfast  to thrive, reflexive of thrīfa  to grasp
It feels as if I have simply been existing. And, I want more.
I long for vibrancy, electricity, passion and grand moments of exultation.
I want to know that every breath I take, from this moment on, means something.
Sadly, I’ve come to realize that life is much too short.
Within the blink of an eye, we’re suddenly older, or sicker or simply too tired to care.
I don’t want to wake up some day and realize that this magical ride known as life has simply been siphoned away.
I no longer want to let fear hold me back. Instead, I want to use the fear to vault into the unknown. Fear means you’re doing something right, right?  It means you’re stepping out of the comfort of the known and plotting a course into a realm of possibility. And yes, there’s always a bit of failure along the way, but it’s no longer okay to let setbacks rule my existence, or the journey I will make for myself.
So, I am resolute. I want to live, thoroughly, compassionately, passionately and fully.
This is my 2014 life resolution.
My new beginning.
And yes, I suddenly have the urge to say “Live long and prosper”.  I never said I wasn’t a Geek.
Cheers!
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Questions …

Would it be so wrong, if thoughts of me brought you to your knees?

What would it hurt, if my lips were your savior?

Would the world stop spinning on its axis, if the soft sweetness of my skin was your comfort?

Do you believe that my fingertips, trailing across your cheeks, could bring you peace?

Will you let me in?

Ramblings on life …

Life is messy.

Full of emotions, desire, wants and needs.

It is gratuitous, beautiful, frightening and compelling.

Days pass, moments happen, love disappears, tears fall, passion kindles and laughter bubbles.

And through it all we remain ever hopeful.

Hopeful that we’ll meet our true love, feel passion, know are souls purpose, bring joy to others, make ends meet, continue to grow, retain good health, foster our faith and spirituality, and be understood …

Sometimes, it’s difficult to see through the thick haze of disappointment that envelops us.  But we must try. For beyond the haze is an enormous, sparkling, never-ending well of possibility.

It’s strange how we tend to analyze our lives more at certain times of the year.  Most specifically at the end of each year.  It’s when we tally up the good, the bad and the ugly. Giving ourselves a score, so to speak.  Did we achieve our goals? Was love found or lost? Did we grow older or simply old?

It’s the time of year when we take stock, make resolutions and invest in ourselves.

It’s newness enveloped in possibility.

So, as you look behind, make sure not too linger.  Keep moving forward and let your heart be grateful and light.

Happy (early) New Year!

Pieces of life …

I’ve begun to pack away bits of life

Crystal pretties – ducks and bunnies

Voodoo dolls

Shells with memories

Artwork saturated with sweetness

A pink memory book that holds one finished page

but is littered with notes, receipts and sparkly pieces,

that still wait to be fastened.

Wanting to belong.

Yet somehow knowing they never will.

A dried flower falls softly to the ground – undone from its hidden place..

Books with earmarked pages

all gently wrapped  and placed in green bubbles and brown cardboard.

One soul defined –

and

heart remembered –

stored

but

not forgotten.

Need …

I awoke this morning with ravenous need for –

sunshine, warm, saturating and all-encompassing.

sweetness, soft, genuine and endearing.

large expanses of wild flowers (to twirl within)

urgent kisses – to lose myself in.

Strong fingers entwined with my own.

laughter. deep and momentous.

a gentle hand on the small of my back. claiming – guiding – holding.

ripe strawberries – their juices drenching sensitive taste buds.

the smell of warm earth – ancient and alive.

a lover and a prince (strong and knightly)

passion – liquid and electric.

salty frothed oceanic waves wrapping themselves around my toes

a heartfelt connection (do these even exist anymore?)

glass slippers

a fairy god mother

inclusion

patience – (O please grant me patience.)

The knowing …

a crystal ball (I might even settle for an eight ball instead)

readiness

gracious interaction

and, of course,

Rainer Cherries.

The hunger continues  –

 

Time after time …

When I was younger I never thought about time.

It seemed endless and forgiving.

But as I grew older I realized time is finite.

And I wondered, how does one go from being a ingénue

to a blossomed 40 something?

The years seem somewhat dream like.

It’s as if one blink brought me forward 3 decades.

When I was 16 I longed for eighteen.

When eighteen I longed for 21.

And, at 21 I simply had longing …

Now, at 42, I desire –

a life filled with purpose

a heart full of love

passion

moments of beauty

and

unadulterated joy.

So, I now know that I must forge a mindful peace with time.

And, in doing so, I will relish every second, minute and hour that the universe blesses upon me.