In the end.

What are you thinking she asks?

There is no answer. Only the silence that she has now come to know.

What happened to all the words?

It seems they were ripped violently from this plane

only to be absorbed by black matter that will never let them go.

Where is the laughter? Why has it died away? Were there no watering holes to fuel it’s liquid needs?

What of the tears?

They have dried and formed small hills of salt on the plains of her existence.

Where is the proof of lovely times past?

It has disappeared like invisible ink.  Only to be seen again when acidic juice falls upon the pages. Revealing what was but is no longer.

What of the heart?

It wills upon itself scar tissue, in the hope of covering open wounds.

But it wasn’t all bad. Right?

 

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Quiet reflection …

It’s quiet now.

The soft whir of the computer

is the only sound that permeates

this dense – dark – silence.

Heavy blue eyes

flutter

in an attempt to resist

the Sandman’s

calling.

It’s as if my body and soul are once again connected –

refreshed and rejoined after a day of hectic undertakings.

It’s during these late – peaceful moments

that I allow myself to focus light on the 86400 seconds of the day.

Clarity.

Compass.

Continuation.

Tomorrow …

Silent Night …

It’s quiet tonight.

It seems as if the past weeks have been filled with noise.

Not just audible but soulful as well.

But at this moment the only sound I hear is the soft hum of the heater working to warm my chilled skin.

The aroma of pine needles and sugar cookie candle wax lingers in the air. Eliciting memories of Decembers past.  While the brightly colored Christmas lights twinkle in the darkness, beckoning me to lay beneath the tree and look upwards into the brilliance.

If I did, I wonder, would I be magically transported to childhood? To a time of wonderment and ethereal beauty?

It is during times such as this that I can breathe.  Let go.  Dream.  Wish.  Renew.

I am alone at this moment but not lonely.

My soft warm bed is whispering to me.  It entices with promises of gentle lullabies and sweet sleep.

I believe I will give in …

The Silent Dark …

  
  
 
 
 
 
 

So here I sit late at night. 

The room is dark except for a preternatural glow emanating from the laptop screen. 

It’s quiet, just as I like it. 

I find that lately the quiet soothes me. 
 
When I am distressed or simply in need of peace, I seek solitude in darkness and the sound of nothing.
 
When I was younger I sought noise to keep me company. 
 
The sound of the television in the background or music loudly whirling through speakers. 
 
I allowed this cacophony and chaotic imagery,  in the hopes that the word “alone” would not sink in. 

But now,  alone is no longer lonely. 

It is precious. 

In this dark solitude I am not a presence, a pretty face or just another girl. 

 
Instead I am effervescent energy.  
Free from bodily constraints, the rules of the world and the judgement of others. 
 
I do not reside heavily on the earth, held down by gravity. 
 
Instead I float and flit effortlessly and with great serenity in the ether.  Tethered only by a gossamer string that stirs softly in the night. 

In the light I smile for others and make up my outward appearance to please ever watching eyes.  But when it’s quiet and the still has settled into the air and the last of the light has evaporated, I am free…